Men can be the change in violence against women

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New data from a recent survey reveals that four in five men want to change the alarming rates of violence against women, although 43 per cent say they personally can’t do anything to change this.

The survey from national violence prevention organisation, Our Watch, shows that a greater focus is needed to help men and boys understand what action they can take to help end violence against women.

The survey coincides with the launch of new resources for youth workers and others working with men to help them better engage men and boys in preventing and ending violence against women.

The resources will be launched at an event at Parliament House during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-based Violence campaign.

Our Watch will also be running a social media campaign during the 16 Days of Activism, providing tips for how men can make a positive impact in preventing violence against women.

Overwhelming evidence shows that all men, but especially those in leadership roles and positions of power can play a significant part in the structural and culture change needed to end the sexism and disrespect towards women that leads to violence.

Former AFL player and prevention advocate Ben Brown said that it was encouraging that the new survey data showed that the vast majority of men want to take action to help prevent and end the violence.

“We have a huge opportunity as men to be allies and take action.

“We need men to be courageous, to speak up to help prevent and end violence against women – but too many of us are silent or don’t know where to start.

“It is so easy to feel helpless, overwhelmed or think ‘it’s not my responsibility’ – but the truth is, men are a big part of the solution.”

Violence prevention advocate Tarang Chawla said that men needed to understand that taking action wasn’t necessarily about stepping in and saving the day like a knight in shining armour, but challenging everyday examples of sexism and rigid forms of masculinities that lead to violence.

“Men don’t wake up one day and just decide to kill their partner.

“It starts off in ways that might seem harmless – locker-room talk, sexist jokes, making fun of violence, objectifying women or asserting dominance over their partner.

“I would love to see more men questioning controlling behaviour towards women.

“If we all play our role, we can help prevent harmful attitudes and behaviours potentially escalating to violence,” Mr Chawla said.

Our Watch’s data also showed that nearly half (45 per cent) of surveyed men said they feel pressure to act ‘stereotypically manly’, with most expressing this pressure in the workplace (24 per cent) and within a sporting club (19 per cent).

This is particularly important as men who support the most stereotypically rigid ideals of masculinity – such as needing to act tough, be dominant, hide feedings and be in control – are 17 times more likely to say they have hit a partner according to the recent Man Box study from The Men’s Project.

Our Watch CEO Patty Kinnersly said we need to do more to reach men and boys.

“We know that young men receive an overwhelming amount of ‘advice’ about how to be a man today, including on social media and in popular culture, such as pornography.

“To stop violence before it starts, we must work with young men and boys at school, in workplaces and online to help them navigate the complexities of what healthy masculinities look like for them.

“If we do this right, it is more likely that young men will grow up to be respectful, feel safe to express their emotions and know that violence is never the answer,” Ms Kinnersly said.

In an indication of generational change, Australian young men in their 30s (91 per cent) were far more likely than men in their 50s (68 per cent) to want to take action to prevent violence against women and girls. 

Four simple ways men can take action to prevent violence against women:

1 – Show it’s not OK: if you see something that’s disrespectful towards women use your body language to show your disapproval, such as rolling your eyes, shaking your head, walking away.

2 – Support women: Ask if she’s OK – in person or in a message, acknowledge what happened: ‘Hey, I’m sorry. That wasn’t cool.’

3 – Speak up: Question sexist jokes: ‘I don’t get what’s funny?’, Focus on the behaviour: ‘That comment was out of line,’ Purposely change the topic: ‘Seriously? Let’s move on.’

4 – Use your influence: if you are a manager or leader within a workplace, sporting club or education organisation you can facilitate cultural change, model respect and embed gender equality in policies and throughout the organisation. See Our Watch’s Workplace Equality and Respect and Our Watch’s Sport resources for guidance on how to do this.